Darn the needles, crack the peanuts,
I blame my lot on screwy syntax,
scary prospects for the untested,
a faux-et whom no one's invested.
So I can't spell or use a colon,
semi- awful full of run-ons.
Find a hat trick in my spell check.
Erase the offense with a quick click.
Lick a stamp and send it somewhere
where the editors laugh and slumber
atop piles of other verses
drooling o'er the novice's curses:
Did I send it with a typo!?
Damn the jitters and the pinot.
A complete joker, need a smoke now.
I don't smoke, just hand me choco-
covered raisins, nuts and pretzels
until I climb out of this hell hole.