Monday, January 31, 2011

Guilt Me Not

Guilt has been my companion lately. Having been a "serious" journalist at one point in my life, crafting a romance novel seems a low-road preoccupation. What difference does my writing make when people are fighting for democracy in Egypt or suffering from bizarre weather events due to climate change? Pushes the periscope down a few clicks.

And it's not as if I'm devoid of social consciousness. Prior to and including yesterday, I'd say I've overcompensated for the questionable merit (my spin) of writing romance. I give to charity, parent full-throttle, teach ethically and believe in the worth and dignity of all people, especially on a small planet. So, I need to get over it.

A supportive writer told me, "God loves stories, tell them." If I believed in God.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

It's a Life

Eat. I write. Use napkin. I write. Do the dishes. I write. Scratch list for grocery. I write. Pour the dog some chow. I write. Find a hard-to-quit book. I write. Sell your worth to everyone you meet. I write. Take it down a notch for humility's sake. I write. Remind yourself its about loving it and nothing else. I write.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Secrets of a Book Collection

When you walk into a bookstore or library, and you wish you could know all the thoughts of what were in the books, and you think time never allows it, but oh, all those secrets. I want them. Used to be, you could open a pressurized can and the little puff releases and the treasure peels open and you consume it. I've finished reading a book and am looking for another pop. It seems I'm getting pickier because there's only so much time, and so many pops left and I gotta get to all the good ones with all the great secrets before my mind goes, which won't be for another 60 years, but I have to start paying attention now or I won't find the singing lines. What are you reading?

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Reading, Writing

Back at it. Writing again after letting my MS rest. Feels good. If anything, persistence will see me through. Showing up. I'm showing up. Finished a wonderful book, still thinking about it. Leaving pens and paper around the house. Savoring early morning epiphanies that expand my plot. Those are sweet.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Letter to the Reader

I'm trying to carve out space to work on revisions. I have about ten+ copies of the MS floating about in various hands. Some readers I've heard from, and I'm making notes on things I want to change. All good progress. I've started back to work (PT teaching a college course on journalism) and am looking for a full-time job. Crazy weather has hindered by child-free hands/head. Turning on lots of lights to keep away winter gray. Trudging on. The notes I've scribbled here and there about changes to the book make me happy. Saw a good word today above the wheel-well of a muscle truck: rumble. Working that in somewhere.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


There's a reason merry-go-rounds are a relic of parks. They knock riders mercilessly. I'm feeling a little like that during book revisions. In fact, I'm calling it the humility phase. I've decided to ride this spinning toy, and the mess-ups are knocking me down a few notches.

A new board game we got for Christmas made me think of the merry-go-round. The graphics with the game show a retro playground, where tall, silver slides and merry-go-pukes are fixtures. Kids notice everything. "They don't have those anymore," and you nod your head in agreement, thinking Thank God.

I'm getting my dose of face-in-the-dirt humility from my readers. My head is whipped, and I try not to let the handrail whack me in the temple or get trapped under the whirling sphere. Once this case of nausea and terror passes, I'll get back on that bumpy platform and ride, sister, ride.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

This Moment

From my office window this second, I see snow. The ground is covered. The tree limbs are white. The kids' swing in the big oak is the only thing moving outside besides the flurries. I could do without snow.

Let me enjoy: This first sip of coffee in the morning. Always my favorite.

What else to enjoy?  Holding my eight-year-old's hand. Staring eye-to-eye with my oldest daughter. Every morsel of gourmet food my husband makes, despite the mess in the kitchen. Placing my head on the pillow at the end of the day.

I'll try enjoying this snow, too. I dislike cold, but I like the quiet and the slowing down.